04/21/23: THE RACE TO NOWHERE

No one vs. No 2 vs. No 3

Hey y’all,

I sat down to work last night and this guy ended up on the screen. Honestly, I don’t know exactly where he came from, or where he might be going.

So let’s talk about that…

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Speaking as a younger Gen-Xer, one of the big things our childhoods forced us to appreciate in our entertainment was scarcity. 

Nothing, not even renting a VHS tape, was reliably on demand. Finding reprinted xeroxes of a comic book artist’s pencils was the whole reason to subscribe to a magazine. Figuring out how to make ANYTHING— felt like the challenge of your lifetime. 

And now, here we are in the “content” era. Where with anything and everything at our fingertips— the constant pressure to be visible has flooded the internet with more unfinished art than human eyes have ever beheld. 

Probably way too much of which is my own. 

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(Above: NO. 1 (working title) started out as a pun that I tweeted out in 2017. He was racing to nowhere as a doodle shortly thereafter.)

See, when I was first starting out I was overwhelmed with ideas.

On one hand, I aspired to be a creative force of nature like Jack Kirby. On the other was my obsession with craft— which taught me the difference between an idea and a story a little too early for my own good.

Fortunately both philosophies encourage you to put things down on paper. So to this day I keep an un-wieldy file of notes. A creative Mentaculus of scribbles and, designs, completed scripts and screenplays.

Untold stories for which the juice doesn’t quite yet feel worth the squeeze.

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(Above: NO.1 take 2.)

Often I’ve shared those concepts publicly. The partial reason for which was to battle back the entropy that begins to gnaw the second after an idea takes root. Sharing excited me. Helped my big mouth write some checks.

But if I’m honest, I know that other times I’ve shared those ideas just to fill space.

To buy myself some time.

Or maybe even a little clout.

And loathe as I am to admit it —(Retches and spits up all 4 humors)— Some of that was and still IS a good strategy.

Because no matter what your natural creative process is, or how much you deeply care about your work— The pace at which EVERYTHING is consumed has made commercially viable creativity a journey that is now basically required to be made in public.

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(Above: What's this guy's deal? I guess we’ll find out. Maybe.)

In the 18 months, I spent off the grid over the pandemic I did a lot of thinking about that. 

About how we live in a world that oftentimes feels incapable of any appreciation for succinct, intentional expression. Even less for subtlety, or ambiguity. About how the formless void of my youth has been replaced by an endless, rolling, chattering CRITTERS ball of flaming hot Cheeto breathe takes.

And I guess I’m surprised to say that after all that isolation… I’ve actually come to appreciate that both tracks have their positives. 

In solitude, there’s a focus. Or at times something even more crucial— a lack of it. An ability to set things on the back burner to let them slowly cook. To try, and to fail, and throw it all away and start over if need be.

And amongst the crowd? Well, at least you can talk to the person beside you, right? There’s the opportunity to iterate and re-iterate until your babbling becomes actual expression. Maybe even communication.

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(Above: He says as he shares a design for a Devil Ra(y)nger” like it’s actual content.)

More and more I think that’s the only point of all this liking and sharing and hitting the bell icon.

That the things I make don’t HAVE to amount to ANYTHING.

That they can just be expressions of how I feel. Expressions that I don’t always NEED to share.

But just as important is to know and appreciate that if I want to…

I finally can.

I can take it all in, or breath and let it go.

And know that unlike that last copy of DEAD HEAT down at the local video store…

None of this is going anywhere.

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Speaking of works in progress… 

I gotta come clean and say that the main reason I tacked that handwritten Alex Toth essay onto the end of the last post was to break up all my rambling. 

And lo and behold— here I am serving it to you as leftovers? Or just working on the recipe? You decide. 

HOW TO DRAW (L): ALEX TOTH: DON’T JUST LOOK:

Okay, that’s more than enough for this week. Maybe next time we’ll see what ol' NO. 1 is actually all about. Or not.

Either way, more soon…

-j